I cannot say with certainty about others, but I know that I have been plagued with an addiction to the incessant monologue of thoughts in my mind since just about as long as I can remember. This is sometimes called the 6th sense, because we can be aware of any of our 5 senses or of this mental jabbering which, for me, comes in a kind of mental audio format. Sometimes it stuns me that this spewing of thoughts has not yet simply worn itself out. Perhaps it is a purpose of deep sleep to give the process a rest.
What I have found, through introspection (or self-enquiry), is that these thoughts work like building blocks to create the entire story of my life, including the concept of my body, and even my "self". Moment by moment, the thoughts are constantly shifting, but they seem to follow certain patterns to create story of my life, which keeps me trapped in the illusion of separation. There are 2 dimensions to this separation; time and space:
- Time: My addiction to my thoughts; both the memories of my past, and the speculation about possible future scenarios, keeps me from experiencing the glory and wonder of being full present. However, through self-enquiry I can realize that the past and future are only ever thoughts about the past and the future which always occur in the present moment. Furthermore, in any particular moment, I am only thinking about one possible future event, or one particular memory. All of these are inaccurate speculations and depictions of reality, made only of the flimsy, constantly shifting, building blocks of the mind. In fact, my preoccupation with the notions of future and past only serves to create an artificial separation in the idea of time, which prevents me from experiencing the Truth of the Unity of Each Moment.
- Space:The idea that subject and object are separate is built right into the English language. Most of our sentences include both a subject and an object, which are separate from each other. This can be useful for communicating about the world, but only as symbols.
The addiction to "word thoughts" uses this feature of language to create an illusion of a self that is separate from its environment. It does this by positing the body and also the thoughts themselves as the "self", and then separates that concept from everything else. It then goes even further to create the idea of separation of all of the objects in that environment.
When we enquire within, we may realize that we are aware of our body, and our thoughts with our senses in much the same way that we are aware of "external" objects. This begs the critical question of what is the true subject, that is, what is it that is aware of the "externals", the body, and the thoughts. We cannot conceive of this objectively, because if we were to do so it too would become an object, and thus not the True Subject, which I Am.
The ultimate result of this analysis is that everything that we perceive, including our bodies and our thoughts, are only separate from the "I Am" subject as an illusion. All, in Truth, are composed of the stuff of the "I Am" subject, much like all of the images on a movie screen are composed of the light of the movie camera shining on the screen. The images constantly shift and change, but the basis of their true nature always remains the same.
I personally am hoping that by dwelling on these ideas, my experience will move beyond thought into Reality. In fact I have had brief moments of such a deeper understanding. On the other hand, expecting something different to happen in the "future" is part and parcel of the illusion described above, and so this hope can become self defeating. This is where we must come to the Mercy of the Grace of Each Moment:
"To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top."
~ Robert M. Pirsig ~
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